Monday, October 29, 2007

The wonder of it all

Don't you wonder what babies are thinking? Nicholas already looks at some of his stuffed animals with wonder. He even focuses more on them than he did on one of us.

What are those little brains doing? Taking in language, plugging in new sites and sounds, filing away words for a rainy day. Those girgles- are they meant to be language- just trying to communicate- but unable to get the tongue and lips to work the way they should.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Spiders spin

I never really understood the significance of spider webs during Halloween time. Were they not there all year long?
Here in Kansas- especially at my house by the dry creek bed- where turkeys roam freely and deer trim the grass, spiders really gear up this time of year. The webs are huge. Spun at dusk they often reach from the gutter on the house to the sidewalk below. My favorite spider spins one every night in front of the kitchen window. The kitchen light is on all night to light our path in the very dark night. The spider understood that our light, the only one for a football field of area, draws insects from everywhere.
And so she spins.
And we watch her catch things and spin around those things and let them drop to the sidewalk.
And in the morning- she and the web are GONE!
About dawn I went out to see what happens. She was taking the web in- conserving silk- so she could make another web another ghoulish evening!

What a journey.
The baby (and his parents) is in Maryland now. I heard him crying over the phone (so did the dog).It is hard to think of not seeing them for a bit of time. It will only be a month right now. Then a month again. Then six months.OW!
From my vantage point- it is not a good thing for the kids to move away. I would like them to be close so I can do things with and for them.
But for them....I think it is good for them to move away.
They are able to grown without someone looking over their shoulder at the mistakes that have to be made in order to be a good adult.
Still- I will miss their whispers and chats.
At least I will be here- where the leaves are beautiful and the sky is blue- in Kansas.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Do you sometimes forget to laugh? I catch myself some days being WAY too serious. Laughter is a source of relaxation to me. Sometimes I have to sit at my desk at the end of the day and think, "what is one silly thing that a student said or did today?" Then a smile creeps in. Soon I am an giggling about that student and what a blessing they are to me and the rest of the team.
Laughter is a gift from God. I need to use it every day.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Two weeks ago

Two weeks ago I was preparing for a substitute. My daughter was getting ready- taking a shower, attempting her last good night sleep, chatting about how things would change. Change they would- I am glad we had the opportunity to give her a restful beginning to this long journey called parenthood.

Our son in law had arrived a week before. He had slowly settled into a routine and seemed to relax with this second set of people- parents in law- heck I don't know what he thinks of us. He tolerates our words. I am sure he is ready to spring forth and get the heck away from us:>) but he survives.

And then Nicholas- hard to believe that in two days he will be two weeks old! He is an amazing baby. Crying only when being changed or hungry. Beside his parents, he settles down best with Scott. Scott is amazingly tender with this dear child. He lays with him for hours on his chest- chatting and playing. I remember him doing the same with ours when they were little- but he had much less time then.

I am the changer, hugger and mover. Nicholas settles into my arms- but I know that I am restless- just my nature. He will see much more of me when we begin to explore together....that might have started the other day when we took this picture.
Ah- my job is to show Nicholas what wonders are in store for him- as he looks around
discovers his world.


Today I made sure that one of my students was suspended. I was nervous about what he was capable of doing. Maybe I am an alarmist- but this kid gives me the willies. He can be so sweet in tone and then mumble something very scary under his breath.
Teaching and I see eye to eye- less and less. Working with children who need help is so rewarding- and so draining. I am constantly ready to quit one day and dance in the next. Being in my particular field I do not have to worry about standards- I have to worry about getting them to the classroom so that others can worry about standards.
I am counting down the days. I truly am considering something else for next year- but what?
Confusing- but an easy jump!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

On the Feast

Our little Nicholas was born on the feast of the guardian angels. Appropriate. He is a good baby and we can already tell that he has an excellent angel to guide him. He sleeps a good amount of time and wakes just in time for all of us to sleep :>)

School is a challenge to me. Two years seems to be the maximum that a work evironment appeals to me. I do not know what it is about my personality. Am I a perfectionist living in a slob body? If it cannot be perfect - I have a difficult time letting it just be. Dropping my special ed class was a sign to me that I was all ready to let go of this part of my life. It really isn't what I want to do. It seems that I am good at it- but I am- in no uncertain terms- able to control it. Kids are too unpredictable and I cannot fix what they most need.I am not sure if I should push through this aspect of my life- or just roll with it knowing that God always seems to put something new in my path.

I left teaching before. I think it was good to return, but I am ready to leave it again. My desire to share information can be done in a different manner. Figuring out how is the challenge....

There is a shop that has come up for sale in downtown Junciton City. I am considering purchasing it. It is in a good location and seems to be in good repair. Maybe that is my next road.....

At least I know that I am here in Kansas for a reason. The sunsets and walks in the tall grass are more pleasing then anything I have experienced before. Calmness surrounds every aspect. There is something exceptional about feeling the warm, humid air on my cheeks and walking my grandson out to see the play house. Painting continually comes to mind.... I do, really, miss my artistic friends.

Relax-The next part of life will simply come.