Sunday, January 25, 2009


Attending the inauguration was historical for me. I needed to be there, to be a part of the end of a period of racism that I grew up near. The listening, the being. Really, I went for my students who often felt no hope and now see there is a glimmer that the US is really about people like them and people like you.
There are some things I do not agree with when it comes to Mr Obama. I do not believe in abortion- in any form. That a woman has a choice to kill her child destroys my thoughts of civilized society. It was one of the great downfalls of the Roman empire- when the elite decided to abort rather than share. Knowing that the majority of abortions are done by white, college educated, 20 something women- continues that historical view.
On the other hand - the idea that we can bomb and destroy in order to fill our love of oil makes me ill as well. I felt it first hand in Saudi. Heck, we were not there to help them- we were their mercenaries to defend oil from those who wanted to take our movement away. Mr Obama gets this one - more than any other. If we left the Middle East tomorrow- there might be chaos- but it would be tribal chaos- because they are tribal people. We do not go into Africa and save them from tribal chaos. We do not even do it in Mexico. Why the Middle East? Some are diluted to think it is because of Israel (which Britain carved out of a 3,000 year old homeland of Palestine). Personally, I am assured that it is simply oil.
They are separate issue- or are they?
Abortion, currently, is supplied to the people attempting to get ahead. Their current way of life is more important than the future.
The Middle East conflicts are the same. We are willing to do terrible things to our own soldiers and other's population in order to preserve our way rather than look to the future.


The ticking clock
The dogs breathing
Thoughts whirling through my mind
and then there is simply silence.
My sister in law is going in for tests for cancer- again. Her last bout was 17 years ago.
My heart is really torn. She is the epitome of a Christian woman. She has attempted to follow her Church's teachings and raise her children well for so many years. And now her health is comprised again.
What do I want to do? Shake her and ask her to be baptised into a Christian Church- ANY Christian Church. She is an LDS member and by that I do not believe that she is actually a Christian.
This is tough for me.
For so many years our friendship has grown. So often she has attempted to convert me since without that conversion she believes that we can never be eternal friends. My belief is that by not accepting that Jesus is her only Savior then she will be on the hot seat when being judged in her last days. The problem is that I think she DOES see Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Just that her Church does not believe that Jesus is the ONLY Lord and Savior. How can I have that conversation? Why have I not had that conversation before now?
I am making my summer plans. If my sister in law is really ill- she will need help this summer and I will make my way to her side. We laugh joyfully together. We share the happiness and sadness that has been our lives in the last ten or so years. I would be honored to help her in any way I can.
I am praying that she does not have cancer- and thinking that the conversation will have to happen sooner than later.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I have been asleep for hours

and now I find myself awake in the still of the night. I read a post over at Patty's MorningRamble that made me think about my own journey this last four years.
We moved here five years ago- but I let my old job go (and the big money) four years ago last November.
What is the fear that keeps us in a certain place? That place does not have to be a physical one- but a mental one. There is a great deal of freedom when you begin to let go of possessions being in charge of your life. I have to chuckle that as I free myself of the "stuff" that I have accumulated over the years, my husband is accumulating his "stuff". Both my old stuff and his new stuff take up the top of the barn. We have to walk to the barn to see the stuff, but it is not in our immediate life.
For some reason I no longer feel that I have to hold tightly to the physical things of my extended family. There was some fear there that those things kept me in a certain place, a certain social status, a certain history and by letting it go those places would also be gone. That is not true. I am slowly learning that it is my heart that holds the journey not the things. My stories are what bring family, not my possessions. My listening that brings unity, not my commentary.
I need the presence of God. My lifestyle affords me that. I need space. My house affords me that. I need art and artists. My lifelong friends and the art I have collected afford me that. But, slowly, I do not need everyone to think the same way I do. Being here, now, with no Church and no close family nearby, affords me that right now. I will be looking for the community here soon. My phone community settles my heart enough right is good.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Wish me luck!

I am flying out today to see the first African American become President of the United States. I am SO looking forward to the adventure. I am a bit worried about the cold...but then I am living in Kansas where it has not reached freezing all week.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Joining the Novena

There is a Novena - nine days of prayer- that begins on the 11th. It will end on Obama's Inauguration Day. It is a prayer that he will not enact the abortion rights bill that he said he would many months ago (before he was a really viable candidate). It would definitely set me against him in the future. He declared he is open and willing to work with all. This would certainly disengage me. Join me in prayer. I would hate to see a major fight before he could even get started on the agenda that I think is SO important.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

A little crazy

School is back in. I had the privilege of giving the 133 question drug abuse questionnaire in all of my classes today.
Scott called at noon:
The grand baby's ear ruptured. He is going to be like my sister- high threshold of pain, no real symptoms when ill. Never even a tug on the ear!
My brother in law's mother passed away. Expected, but never ready.
My mother in law has decided to refuse all meds...again, expected but never ready.
Our truck will cost about $2,000 to repair. Again, expected, but never ready.

Will tomorrow be a bit more fun. Let's hope not!

Monday, January 05, 2009

What Kind of Reader Are You?
Your Result: Dedicated Reader

You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.

Literate Good Citizen
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Book Snob
Fad Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Sunday, January 04, 2009

School all day

Obsession is over and reality is here. Tomorrow we begin a new year. China is the theme. That is easy. We have loads of things from our time in Hong Kong. The bulletin board went up today with hats and Chinese blankets. The roofs over the doors to ward off evil spirits. You probably think of China as red- but really the color is yellow. China's symbol for itself is called "The middle of Earth" and Earth is yellow.
Red is a very important color. All the young children in China used to wear red for good luck.
I will attempt to put up some pictures as my students journey through this magical country!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Time is slipping away

Today I wrote out a basic budget. The first thing that blew it was the heating bill for last month. Totally blew the amount that I was expecting. We have got to work on curtains for the downstairs windows and something that will warm the upstairs.I'll have to give it some thought.

My plan is to get our living expences down to Scott's pension and save my salary. That was my plan last year as well:>) It is possible. The house is paid for. We have house taxes and living expenses, but those are all within the limits. Saving for retirement is difficult, but worth it. Since I seem to have the "I will never be a bag lady"syndrome (like all of the women in my family) the savings is up to me. Living in Kansas helps. No malls. No fine restaurants. No teacher supply stores. Seeing if I can stay on a part of the track will be fun. We could not afford to live this way in Arizona- temptations were too near. If we can save for the next few years, we can have more fun in the future. Yipppeee!

Friday, January 02, 2009

An idea from Choosing Joy's blog

A meme using the first sentence written each month of 2008 to recap it.
Baptism day on the Feast of the Holy Family. Our Grandchild was delivered as a child of God.
Getting my financial house in order is the first step in being frugal.
How long has it been? Three weeks? It seems like the entire winter!
Every year I go though this. It is time to sign a contract for next year.
I always read this - but didn't do it! (Amortization of IRAs)
I know that some of you do not like Obama. I agree that he does not get close to my opinion on abortion
We have been on the road for two days- and I am wide awake at 4:30 am- what does that tell you? (Driving to see our son)
The baby of our family holding the baby of my daughter's family.
I want to live near my daughter and grandson.
What does a long day look like to a teacher?
My house is beginning to be surrounded by fall.
Today I was to teach a short introduction to the Jewish religion.

That was interesting. No mention of all of my husband's surgeries. Suppression works! Kids , school and budget- yup- besides my husband- that was the year!

It begins

Chuckling to myself in the commissary today just knowing that I would have to record what I spent (and on who) made me rethink my basket. I couldn't back the candy for class- bribes are hard to come by so cheap. A bag of Christmas M&M's in the little packs are perfect for the immediate reward some of mine seem to crave.
The bags of candy for Iraq will be eaten the minute they hit the ground- I am sure.
So, that leaves what I have for us. Milk,orange juice, some good looking steaks and baby corn. That isn't so bad. Scott will have to do the big shopping when the troops all go back to work next week. The commissary is empty (except there were some beautiful steaks).
Off to school tomorrow. I need to figure out at least Monday and Tuesday.
Life is good.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

New Years 2009

My resolutions

1) Shake it off and move on. This will be my new mantra. I am not saying that I will be totally successful, but I need to take a different perspective on somethings. I have the very bad habit of dwelling on negative, especially when it comes to going back to Arizona. It was a tough time when we lived there for me. Somehow, at the end of this trip, I took the words of my son and sister to heart and my new mantra began.
People, in general, mean to do the right thing. They may see the right thing as different as what I view as the right thing. The best way for me to handle those things I get upset about are----shake it off and move forward. We are healthy, alive, have God in our lives and plenty of food on the table- what else is there? (OK- books- lots of books. Scott would say "Wood- lots of wood")

2) Figure out a budget and quite worrying about the rest. This might be the add on to the above mantra:>) I get hyper over saving money and in turn spending it. In general though, I am good at both. Why get in a dither about it? I may blog more about saving and investing. That is not the same thing as worry.

3) Walk, Walk, Walk and play with the doggies

That is it. Just three. It will be a wonderful year.