Friday, March 18, 2011

Growing from the "have to" to the "want to"

The beginning part of life
is full of have to phrases
have to attend services every week
have to raise kids to be good adults
have to be a part of a group

Somewhere along time the lines blur and
have to becomes want to
The problem comes when want to does not
include past
have tos
That is simply not an acceptable norm
in this society of black and white judgement.

My ever continuing spiritual journey,
is moving me from
has to
to a place of content commitment
in a far deeper sense.
Being deeply Catholic and
enjoying the time
to realize what that means
is an enlightenment to me
There are few have to
because the study enlightens
that many of the have to
religious practices are fairly new
They do not originate
before the time of the reformation
and many were put in place
to keep people in line with the
political church and not the spiritual church.
Some of the saints I take as leaders in my spirituality
are from the reformation time-
St Francis
St Clare
The others that I cherish are
before the political years of the political state
known as the Holy Roman Empire Church
St Lucy
St. James
St John
St Jerome
most of whom are contemplatives
they were not in Church every Sunday-
but gathered in communion with others
and then did a lot of thinking on their own.
They chose- at times-
to go against the norm of the Church
to become more at peace with their walk.

I am, in no way, close to those walks,
but am seeking peace in my faith.
Faith,
not religion,
is what is desired for us in the long run.
Faith guides our judgement
and directs our actions.
Faith is what needs to be strong enough
to endure suffering or love fully.
Faith is the corner to not judging
others, but seeking to give comfort.
It gives us the strength to let go
of our young adults so they can grow
in their own faith
or our elderly
so they can be with the Lord.

I find that the Catholic religion
gives me the structure
for my faith like no other,
but I believe that faith
is more than the religion itself.
At times I have been jealous of
those who find their faith
fully through the Church
but it has never been that way for me.

That has taken a journey away to see.

Now for the long journey back.
Faith- community- religion
instead of the opposite direction.
Finally, a time to do that thinking.
Wonderful retirement.

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