Saturday, December 17, 2011

Packing for the pat down

Air travel at Christmas seems to be a way of life. We raised our kids in many places, so we need to assume (yes, ass u me) that they will be moving for a good many more years.

And so we prepare.

A good look over the clothing.  No metal- anywhere.

Even plastic zippers does not help a 60 yr old man who sports a replaced hip. He always gets to have his underwear felt. Lucky boy!  One cannot profile. Even if you could, there are so many suspects who carry a military retirement card, walk with a limp and strip to almost nothing before they enter the airport.  Must be that Seahawks cap!

How about the pleasure of being hand searched because they said they could not see what is behind a necklace? The necklace hits above the collar bone and the blouse was a V neck. Yes, checking the breast area is so necessary after sending a person through that amazing machine that x rays bodies.  What did we spend that money on?

Walking across yards of rug and tile will be awaiting you. Have you ever wondered what is on the bottom of security's shoes? We all get to trace their foot steps in our bare feet.
Make sure your shoes slip on, otherwise you will sit in the chair too long and be asked to "move along".

Carry on luggage- pack correctly.  Little bottles, that carry less and cost more than the full sized ones, are stuffed into zip lock baggies. Then you are permitted to have those held up for everyone in the line to see what you use. Knitting needles are fine, Swiss Army knife  will be taken away. iPads are ok to leave in the bag, computers are not.
Clothing is rolled, not folded, into neat sections. You never know when a bobby pin will get you "Bag Check".  More than one TSA agent has found my dirty clothes bag- unfortunately for them.

Packing a week worth of clothing into a carry on is necessary if one hopes to get to your destination with items and money.  That lesson was quickly learned when standing behind a family of seven going home to see Grandma for the first time in ten years.  They left the counter with $250 less for the trip. Mama crying, baby crying, dad gritting teeth. Not a pretty sight.

Off to book the car. How many more people are killed in car accidents than air accidents?

"I am ready.
I can do it!
It is worth it to see my children and grandchild!"

The chant begins today....

BTW- I worked security at the airport for two years.

1 comment:

Renee said...

I keep telling my dh, I don't have flying.. I hate going through security