I have been reading lots of blogs that state that the writers are not interested in being a burden on their children near the end of their lives. They plan on living in independent style until they can be pried out of their homes. After that they see themselves in "stepped up care" (an upper middle class way of nursing homes).
My own mother has chosen this road. She lives in an independent care facility. She is in her late 80's now and seems to be doing well. Except. She is not so keen on how many people die around her---all of the time.
She does not want to be dependent on any of us. She made that abundantly clear many years ago. We are lucky that my dad made sufficient funds as to make that possible for her. She lives, safely, in an upper middle class facility, with a large buy in, amongst people "like her".
is that really what we should be doing?
I know of no other peoples who place their elderly in facilities so they do not have to care or encounter them.
Think about it.
Yes, end of life nursing care, but not facilities that you enter in the end years and live with only the other elderly until you die.
One of my friends asked recently, "What about multi generational housing?"
"Oh no", says another friend, "you would be setting yourself up for abuse at the hands of a loved one."
There is no abuse at these facilities? (Not my mother's of course.)
Do we, as a society, accept that elderly are useless?
That they (we) are too much trouble
That they (we) have nothing to offer to the young except a check for the birthday.
That they (we) are too ugly to deal with because they (we) remind them that someday they will be old and needy sometime.
Is society setting 80% of the population up for failure?
About 20% can afford the independent living.
The other 80% will be hoping to be loved enough that someone will bring them soup when they are weak and tired. If they do not save enough (which is an astronomical sum if you are looking for a "good facility"), will they be ignored because, "they should have known better."
Are the elderly really a burden
whom the next generation sits and waits until they pass so that the money can be freed up?
Are they a burden, like children are burdens?
Oh wait---those people are put into care as well.....
Yup, it lays heavy on my heart.